Chapter One: “Love and Loss”
At Home
“Grandma…?”
Yumi looked at her teenage grandson, how tall he was…. And broad-shouldered, he’d become. And he still counted River among his friends in school. She smiled as her grandson came over and knelt beside the arm of her armchair that she seemed to increasingly spend more time in as the days went on. Her days were passing and soon she knew she would reunite with her husband. “Nani desu ka, Haruo-kun…” she tried not to let her fatigue show but there were days when the fatigue just did not abate.
“I graduate this summer and River graduates next summer. And well, I’m not sure if I want to go to university like River wants to. I’m waiting an year and taking some remedial courses to get my grades up, but it’s not helping.”
“Hmmmm….” Grandma Yumi’s tone was comforting. Admiringly for a ninety-six year old lady, she had learned English over the course of her years in Canada. It was all self taught since there were no English-as-a-second-language courses in those days. She learned through conversation with hakujin and her own children who learned both Japanese and English. She was exceedingly open-minded for someone of what was termed the “Lost Generation”, those who were born between 1880 and 1900.
“Daigaku shingaku wa anata ni totte tadashī ketsudande wanai kamo shirenai. Jiichan itenai. Te to ikigai shita.” She was right, as usual, Grand-dad hadn’t had the opportunity to go to university, he worked with his hands. Neither had Grandma, she was too busy raising a family.
“Honto desu, ne? Oba-san.”
“You…decide, Grandson…” she raised a finger and with a smile touched her fingernail to his chest, switching to English, “Your life, you make happy…your decision…go university, no go university. Become your decision. Shikashi, daigaku ikenakareba jinsei wa moto mutsukashiku sareru”. Ah yes, the flip-side of the coin. Why put more obstacles in his own path if having a university degree could help smooth things out.
Haruo wrapped his arms around his grandmother gently and hugged her.
How small she’d become…and frail. His eyes misted a bit as he thought of life without her guidance and love. “I love you, Grandma.”
“Hmmmm…” was her only response but the imperceptible tightening of her arms around him answered more than if she had spoken those words back to him.
The Miyagawas nor the Chikamoris were not a very demonstrative family in terms of displays of affection. What their form of affection was…was in the toil and care they took to preserve the stability of their family and to keep their family unit intact, making sacrifices to make sure that their progeny got ahead.
It was very clear to Yumiko that Mayumi, her daughter, had no maternal love for her son whatsoever.
All Haruo meant to Mayumi was what he could do to keep Mayumi reigning exalted, what adulations could be showered upon her.- the only reason for producing Haruo was to produce progeny for the sake of fulfilling the dream of her father to see his grandchildren before he’d passed away. So Haruo was just an obligation and not worth emotionally taking care of. As long as the bare minimum of his necessities were taken care of…the Ministry of Social Services (as they were known back then) wouldn’t interfere. Which was why Yumiko had stepped in - she had decided unilaterally that she would provide the emotional support Haruo needed from someone within his family.
The Nisei (second generation) learned from the Issei (first generation - the immigrants): shikata ga nai; deru kugi wa utareru - a fatalistic view of the inevitability of trials and tribulations in life.
It was the Sansei (third generation) in fact that tended to be more outgoing and emotional in public. The ones who made the Yonsei (fourth generation) feel at home.
Haruo was the product of a Issei and a Nisei. His father was an immigrant. Technically that should have made him a Sansei but his mother kept calling him a Nisei-han (2nd Generation and a half) as if he was mathematically torn between two generations and not a part of one or the other and even more so, not a part of the Nikkei Sansei cohort. Not able to express individuality or emotion without recrimination and labouring under the expected constraints of the Generation before him.
Because according to Mayumi’s Generational-mathematics: if two Second Generations could produce a Third Generation then obviously a First Generation Immigrant combined with a second Generation was technically producing just a half generation - (the mathematical gymnastics escapes me).
It had been ten years since Grandfather had died, a man hardened and embittered by war and internment, knowing only that he’d not been treated as a Canadian should be, he’d always been thought of as an interloping foreigner - the Vancouver Anti-Oriental riots of 1907 which he’d just barely avoided cemented his view on one single point: Never trust a hakujin - it had given him pause and seriously consider returning to Japan, but he opted to stick it out. His wife had loved him, she’d come over to Canada, sight unseen, landing in Vancouver in 1908. and stood by him as they’d worked their way through life, building back again from zero, side by side through joys and losses, easing each other’s pain and a part of her left with him to the other side when he passed on beyond the veil.
Yet, her love for her grandson had kept her here for ten years. It was as if she had been waiting for something.
“River wa nani suru-ka?” Grandma looked up at her tall grandson expectantly.
“River wants to go to university. I mean so does Bebe. It’s four years…” his grandmother was looking at him as if that wan’t the answer to the question she was looking for. She raised one eyebrow with a slight smile. She had no idea who this other girl was that he was referring to, other than that she was one of his classmates from the same grade year.
Her grandson and River spent almost every moment outside of school together. They’d grown up together and were both in high-school. And Yumi had caught River glancing at Haruo when it seemed like he wasn’t looking. And lately it seemed that River was shedding her tomboy image and was starting to dress more feminine growing out her hair and putting on make-up. And boys were starting to pay her attention. Was her grandson able to pick up on those subtle non-verbal cues of a female trying to attract the attentions of a mate. Yumi was certain that River held more than just mere affection and friendship towards her grandson. Men. Yumi smiled again. Sometimes they needed to be handheld through the courtship process or they’d never get there.
Yumi sighed again as she looked over at her grand-son. She had been sixteen as a picture bride in 1908 when she’d made the long voyage from Tokyo Harbour to Vancouver Port. Then she was brought by horse drawn long passenger carriages to Vancouver to meet her nineteen year old to-be husband. They were married in the eyes of the Crown and the Province of British Columbia and in the eyes of King George V the following morning. And thus had remained happily married through everything that transpired for 70 years until his passing. A long caring marriage was what Yumi wanted for her grandson.
The McIrish Residence“Any plans after graduation?” River’s mother asked her.
“Well, I want to study Arts at UBC.”
River’s mom noted, “That’s going to be a tough field to make money in…”
“The trick here is, Mom, I’m gonna take education as my primary focus and then go into teaching art in school.” River explained. “I’m sure that being a teacher, even if it’s not the most lucrative job in the world, at least it will be the most rewarding.”
Fiona smiled. River knew what she wanted and how to get it. She didn’t have to worry. What Fiona hoped for was that River would find a young man who was good for her and eventually settle down. She didn’t want her daughter to make the same mistakes as she had.
“Haruo graduated this year and he’s waiting a year to go to university. His mom’s grinding his gears over that. She really shouldn’t pressure him like that.” River looked out the window at the tree-lined avenue they lived on. Her mother noticed a softening of her daughter’s usual stance whenever she referred to her landlord’s son “I sure hope he does go to university, but he’s found that high-school was really tough for him. He’s not academically gifted in sciences and maths although I’m jealous of his ability to write. He really should become an author, but he says he can’t think fast on his feet or sit and write for long periods of time.”
“Where’s Haruo today?” Fiona asked, finding it rather odd that River’s ever-present friend wasn’t anywhere near her. She was also wary of Haruo’s intentions in terms of her daughter. After all they were teenagers, River was an attractive young woman and of course, Haruo was a red-blooded young man and hormones ran hot all the time for them. Secondly, the venomous mother was a warning bell to Fiona. Did she really want her daughter to end up dealing with someone like that vicious woman on a daily basis.
“He told me that he’s spending the time with Grandma Yumiko. She’s 92 now - and I don’t want to monopolize all his time. She needs to see her grandson.” She didn’t want to say for the time that she has left - it seemed too final. As much as River loved her baby-sitter, she knew that Yumiko had a family and that her babysitter’s family deserved to spend the rest of her remaining days with her. And that was a positive sign to Fiona about how much he cared for his grandmother because his mother was lucky if she had anyone left to care about her due to every fault of her own.
If Mayumi wasn’t such a bitch to everyone, perhaps she’d have more friends but the way she is turns off most people in any form.
“We should go see her too at some point.” Fiona said, remembering the kindly elderly Japanese lady who helped her to get a place even if it was with that narcissistic, cantankerous bat who was her friend’s daughter. Fiona often wondered how such a nice old lady could have had such a venomous shrew like Mayumi come from her loins.
The daughter and her husband had the suite above her and Fiona had the bottom suite. Yumiko’s daughter’s husband was nice and her daughter’s son was always respectful and exceedingly polite when Fiona’s daughter invited him over which was quite often as River always had a kinship of friendship with the teen who was in the grade ahead of River.
“I’m gonna spend the day painting, there’s some techniques, I want to try before September and enroll in Art 12.” River explained. She was happiest in front of an easel; paintbrush in hand emulating the strokes of Monet or Rembrandt; although she wanted to develop a style uniquely her own.
River hoped to get her degree five years from now. Her Grade 12 year was looming in the fall and well, being in honour roll would put her in the running for scholarships that could help her through university, meaning she could devote more time to her studies and have to work less to meet her expenses while in school. She could also take evening classes to cut her semesters she had to take high school to one and perhaps graduate in January rather than have to wait a whole year. Yeah, that’s what I’m gonna do. River thought to herself. No point in staying in high-school till I’m bored out of my mind in May - I’ll do my final exams the last week of December. If I finish up high school in January, then I’m off to UBC where I can take electives spring and summer till the fall term starts.
She walked over to her room and picked out a fresh canvas and started applying tentative brush strokes.
Central ParkHaruo after spending some time with his grandmother walked through the woods of Central Park wondering about the passage of time. Grandma had looked exceedingly frail in his eyes; a fragile figurine stooped with age. Lost in the midst of his own mind wandering, he’d come upon the bridge in the park.
Yet his grandmother’s mind, with all that experience was keen and sharp and her wisdom; her ability to help him set his course and counsel him on life’s choices, was undulled. She was a treasure and he felt as though he would be forced to give up much more than his grandmother when she finally died.
What was his grandmother to Haruo? A teacher who taught him his very first words in Japanese; a mother since his own mother was busy teaching others and couldn’t be bothered; a counselor who helped him through all of life’s problems with her wit and wisdom.
He sighed deeply as he looked out over the pond where the fish were lazily swimming around in figure eights and oblong racetrack patterns. It seemed too soon, even after eighteen years of life to think of his grandmother no longer being there. Instantly, he regretted all the times he’d wished his birthday would arrive sooner unknowingly; now realizing that each of those days to those eighteen birthdays was a day he wished back just so he could have more time to spend with his grandmother.
“Hey…”.
“Hi…” Haruo turned around to see Bebe watching him.
“You OK?”
Haruo sighed deeply, he cleared his voice. He didn’t want his voice to crack with the emotion he was feeling at this point. “I was just with my grandma...” he trailed off...he trailed off...he didn’t need to say it. Bebe could see the pain in his eyes that he knew that his grandmother didn’t have much longer.
Bebe nodded silently,
...receiving the news that Haruo's grandmother wasn't doing well through the inference of Haruo’s expression in his eyes hit her harder than she suspected as a fountain of emotion and sympathy welled up in her; she remembered the little old Japanese lady who used to walk tirelessly it seemed ten to fifteen blocks to the local food mart to get her groceries and the Japanese man, who was her husband.
“She’s not as well as she’s trying to let on…” Haruo said softly.
Bebe just put her arms around the waist of her classmate in a tight hug, her chin resting on his shoulder, her cheek tight against his, “I’m sorry…” was all she said. There really were no words to be spoken here.
“I don’t know what to do when she goes…” Bebe felt his shoulders shake and tightened her arms around his waist.
“She means a lot to you…” Bebe observed as she looked at him, “It’s gotta be hard to see her like this…”
“My mom doesn’t care. She hardly went to see my grandmother, her own mother, for God’s sake!” He looked at Bebe.
“You’ll never understand your mother, she’s always been like this.”
“I don’t…and I never hope that I end up like that; uncaring and unfeeling.”
Bebe turned Haruo around to face her, her cheek tight against his as they held that embrace, “You won’t, you’re not like that. You have empathy towards others, you care about other people. How many times have you helped others with their English homework or sat there while others complained about how tough their lives were, listening to them vent without uttering a peep? That shows you are better than your mother. We’re going into university whether you go this year or next year. So take time with your grandma while she’s still here.” She pulled him into a tight embrace, “If you need me, I’ll be here for you.” She looked up at him and saw a hint of surprise. With the turmoil his heart was in, he wasn’t thinking straight.
He leaned in…as if to…
His breath caressing her face snapped her out of the trance she was in.
Bebe wanted this but she knew she wouldn’t forgive herself if she let him…kiss her. As much as she wanted him, she knew he was River’s more than even he knew it. He was blissfully unaware of how River felt about him and Bebe could have just swooped in and snapped him up to be her own but the good in her won out over her desires. Haruo was River’s and she was just the friend. The agony of the friend-zone.
“No…Haruo…what would you say to River…” her face held a look of anguish as she drew back from the embrace. It had been so close and she was shaking. Their moving out of the embrace was reluctant though. But there was a sense of confusion in Haruo’s look. “I…I can’t do this to River.” Bebe explained further.
“What do you mean?” Haruo’s mind was spinning. He was attracted to Bebe - she was stunningly gorgeous and sweet and she was one of his dearest friends and he’d so wanted her.
I can’t…” Bebe said; tears in her eyes - the reply torn out of her very soul – she felt actual physical pain in saying that. “River...she’s in love with you…” Bebe gesticulated with her hands as she tried to control her emotions that just wanted to push her over the edge of reasoning and catapult her into Haruo’s arms, never letting him go. Why does it have to be like this? Why do I always rationalize myself out of relationships that I want? Why do I always have to be the good girl and make way for others when I want him too?
“What?” Haruo’s response was one of shock and disbelief. “She’s a friend…at least that’s the only sign she ever gave off to me. Are you sure?”
“Positive…” Bebe couldn’t tell her classmate just how much she loved him too; how much she wanted him - they were both young adults; both were able to partake in carnal activities with mutual consent without recrimination. But River had known him longer and would have been devastated if he had chosen Bebe, thus Bebe was torn between a rock and a hard place.
Damned if I do, damned if I don’t. Why does it always work out this way with any of the guys I like. “She always talks about you when she and I hang out. In fact you’re all she ever wants to talk about.”
Haruo was shocked that he would be the topic of conversation amongst his two best friends. None of the other popular girls seemed to care for him as much as Bebe and River. Besides he was one of maybe two Asians in the entire school of 300 students and hey, according to statistics Asian males weren’t considered relationship material. So maybe it shouldn’t have come so much as a surprise to him.
Bebe sighed, Guys are so dense when it came to relationships. She shook her head. River’s main problem was that she was so reticent about even mentioning the fact that she liked Haruo in that way. If she wasn’t going to make the first move, Bebe would have to let Haruo know of River’s interest in him herself. Bebe really didn’t want to have to be the wingman in this, but to her moral uprightness – the angel on her shoulder that told her “that was the only choice she had if she didn’t want to lose River as a friend through betrayal” vs the devil that tempted her to just grab Haruo and never let him go. “Talk to her…” Bebe said, her own heart in pieces because Haruo was that guy that she wanted too. But damned if River hadn’t found him first.
“I gotta go…” she leaned up and gave him a peck on the cheek - that’s the safest course of action, she rationalized to herself.
Haruo still looked confused as he stood on that bridge looking out at the running water and at the fish in the stream and pond. The thoughts tumbling through his head as turbulent as the eddies of water under falling water of the waterfall. He wasn’t sure what to do with that information.
Bebe and Haruo celebrated their birthdays about four days apart. It was kind of a fun thing to reflect upon that their birthdays were so close together and as friends they found it was fun to celebrate it together. Haruo was the elder by four days. And he knew that there would be a high-school graduation ceremony after they aged up to young adult. At nineteen they were considered on the cusp of young adulthood; all rights and responsibilities therein and they were the graduates of 1988 seeking to make a mark on the world. Although if truth be told, maybe 5% of the graduating class would be lucky enough to have gone on to world-effecting careers, the rest would be out there doing the nine-to-five eking out a living.
As he turned his footsteps towards home his thoughts turned to River. Had he ever thought of her in that way. She was younger than him by a year. In elementary school she’d always been one of the guys, throwing dirt clods like grenades and storming the German castle playing at war. Taking tree branches and making machine gun noises challenging her male classmates saying, “you’re dead! I got you with my machine gun!”
“Did too!”
To Haruo, she was still just one of the guys and it was hard to get the idea that the tomboy he remembered in elementary school had matured into a feminine high school senior who was starting to grow her hair out from that pageboy hairstyle she wore and put on makeup; to step out from the tomboyish things she used to do and be a young woman.
Did he even think of River in that way; that she could be the potential focus of a future relationship? Right now they were best friends. Did he want to potentially wreck that friendship if she didn’t feel the same way?
In the Park.Lisa Bunch and Tamara Stanich looked at each other and grinned gleefully, they were going to have fun with River tomorrow.
“Did you hear what Bebe was saying to Haruo?” Tamara said.
"Oh yeah, and that kiss he nearly gave Bebe.” Lisa looked over at her friend in crime. That goody two-shoes, River, was going to get a rude awakening as to the ways of the world. The guy she had eyes for was making eyes at someone else.
Lisa was adept at killing relationships and she supremely wanted to get under the skin of the one person in school she hated the most. River McIrish was always making better grades, had the eyes and ears of the teachers and she was earmarked as someone who was going places. And Judy Bunch, Lisa’s mother, and a high school teacher at the school always compared the two of them, which stoked a flame of antagonistic furor within Lisa.
River would be going for a scholarship this year to UBC. Maybe, this would throw River off her game. Let River know about this just before that big final exam so that she’s all flustered and flunks the exam. Lisa got all giddy inside thinking what she could do to that overachieving teacher’s pet bitch. Wreck her life and academic options.
Walking over to a payphone, she dialed River’s number while Tamara grinned covering her mouth to keep from laughing in the background.
Bubbles Coin Laundry“River here.” River answered the phone, “who is this?” She asked when all she got was dead air and some tittering in the background.
“River, it’s Lisa. No, don’t hang up….I saw…y’know…the guy you like…”
River rolled her eyes, “Yeah, what’s it to you, Lisa.” She was well aware of just how conniving Lisa Bunch could be and didn’t believe much of anything that Lisa said.
“Wait…there’s more…like…I also saw Bebe and y’know, she was, like, standing really close to that guy you like.”
A small flame of anger pooled in River’s stomach as this caught her off guard, the two people that she cared about the most and couldn’t believe would betray her. “What do you mean?” Her voice was a growl; how could she? How could he!?
“I mean I couldn’t tell but I think they may have kissed, you know...couldn’t really see if he did...but...really...he very well could have but our angle wasn’t so good and well, she got all flustered and left.”
“Really…” River’s voice was cold. This was news coming from Lisa and whether she should put stock in it or not was very indeterminate, however the implication if this was true angered her.
“Sorry you had to hear it from us, River, but I thought you should know. Like y’know.”
River hung up.
In the Park.Lisa and Tamara looked at each other grinning and gave each other a high-five.
Haruo walked into his little alcove in the hallway (according to Mayumi, he didn't rate a bedroom) and sat down on his bed, taking his shoes and socks off. He wanted to relax. Today’s revelation had genuinely shaken him up enough to warrant him actually wanting to have a drink but he was still eighteen. And age of legal majority to drink was nineteen in BC.
But between his grandmother ailing and his friend telling him that River was in love with him, he had no idea what the hell was going on.
But he was a young adult. He had to make decisions for himself.
And the first thing he was going to do was move out of the house because he was damned if he was going to live under his mother’s intolerable edicts any longer. He was a young adult now...he'd aged up during the course of the day and now was able to decide on what he was going to do with his life and he sure as hell wasn't going to spend another second under this roof.
What exactly was he going to do?
Maybe he might be able to get a place with three bedrooms so he could room with Phil and Noel. At least then they could rent a place so that they all had a roof over their head. To hell with that. He saw a nice place down in Richmond that was around §7,200.00 for a lot...and he would be able to be a property owner...and perhaps he could figure out something that he could do with getting a mobile home on the property. He may have to borrow money, but he had an idea that could potentially make some money.
He wasn’t sure if he wanted a relationship right now to begin with, let alone even thinking about tying the knot (frankly that would be the last thing on his mind let alone it potentially being an option) and his mind was trying to figure out who he was best suited to be with if anybody. The fact was that he liked his alone-time and he really wasn’t sure if a relationship would give him something that he truly wanted.
Was he destined to be a solitary hermit? Would he regret not pairing up with someone earlier in life when he was thirty and hadn’t gotten into a relationship? These were questions he had to ask himself. Did he truly want to fling himself into a relationship where he would feel like he was constrained and unhappy. Would he begin to resent being tied down being in a relationship?
It was going to be an early morning tomorrow if he was going to do what he wanted to do...which was move the hell out of the house. But did logistics dictate how quickly he could move out? He probably wouldn’t be able to do it exactly the next morning. He’d have to prep the property he’d just bought first before getting out of this place. The next plan was to place a mobile home on the property. And how was he going to move out. Did that mean renting a moving van? How was he going to move out without the entire family thinking he was completely nuts in the head for striking out on his own. How was he going to get out without his mother causing a scene because to her, she would be losing control over her little lap-dog. Thinking over contingencies and plans and hashing them through in his head; figuring out if it was logistically possible in the short period of time that he wanted to do this in, and nixing other plans that didn’t meet the specifications, he fell into a restless sleep punctuated by dreams of an unhappy relationship that he didn’t want to pursue further.
Meanwhile, out in the kitchen, oblivious to Haruo’s sleeping form, his grandmother and his father talked.
“Yasubo...Haruo ni wa jibun no heya ga hitsuyōda to omoimasen ka?”
“So...to omoimasu…” Yasunobu shrugged his shoulders, “Shikashi Mayumi wa sono okane o tsukatte atarashī heya o taterunoni sōshita kunai. Kanojo wa soshitara ‘Kyōtsū eria chisaku sugiru'.” He gave her an imitation of Mayumi commenting thus.
“Mayumi wa atama wa tsukawanai…Grandpa wa sō omotta. Daigaku sotsu-gyo shita no wa mezurashi koto deshita.” Yumi said acidly, “Haruo wa koko de nokori no jikan rōka de neru koto ni natte imasu ka?”
His father shrugged his shoulders. Whatever was he going to do with his wife.
River on the other hand was in her room, angry and feeling betrayed by her friend. She was also angry at Haruo for seeming to be just as shallow as the other boys in the school, quick to fall over a pretty face. But when she looked at it, had she actually any right to be angry? She had never once told him that she was the slightest bit interested in him other than as best friends. He probably thought he was being friend-zoned if he was in the slightest bit interested in me for all the interest I had physically presented to him, River rationalized to herself. But what if he does love Bebe and she told him that she does. Then where am I? But she reasoned that this information she’d heard over the phone was being given to her by Lisa Bunch and that bitch tended to like to cause drama wherever she could so frankly anything that she said should be taken with a grain of salt.
River wasn’t sure how Haruo would react and she didn’t want to get rejected. I’ll see if he’s receptive to anything. She’d heard the upstairs door open and close during the night and thought nothing of it.
Morning came too quickly.
Haruo looked over at the lot...which he’d done a lot of work with. Over the past week...he’d ended up buying a mobile home – of which it had a solid roof which had taken §600.00 to put on. He’d taken his father aside to let him know his plans on the condition that he breathe not a word of it to Mayumi, which his father readily agreed. Haruo had brought his father to the mobile home and property. His father was more than happy to keep this a secret between the two of them. In fact, his father was getting tired of his wife’s behavior towards his son and he was rapidly reaching a boiling point.
“Anata no okāsan ni wa nani mo iimasen.” his father had told him, the deep anger evident in his eyes. “Kanojo ga nan-nen mo anata o atsukatte kita taido ga kiraidesu. Anata wa yarubeki koto o yarinasai.” Yes, his dad was fed up with Mayumi. His son was fed up with Mayumi’s bullshit so he was packing up and moving and he sure as hell wouldn’t whisper one word to Mayumi about his son’s escape from her tyranny.
“I will do what I have to do…”
“Okane ga hitsuyōnara, kanarazu yōi shimasu.” His dad would help him do whatever was necessary to break free of his mother. His father looked at the property and nodded in approval, he would respect his son’s refuge and not breathe a word of this to his wife. They headed into the mobile home...
and Yasunobu got his first look at the purchase that Haruo had made. “Sorede anata wa san-man yon-sen yon-hyaku-en o harata ka?”
“Yon man ask…” was Haruo's response. “Son'nani harau no wa bakadarō. Kare no ude o hinette kare o hikizuri oroshita...” He’d have to be stupid to pay that kind of money.
“Hmmm…” Yasunobu raised an eyebrow. “Mā, kore de nanika deki-sōdesho. Sukunakutomo karera wa takai denka seihin kitchin o tsukurimashita. Karera wa benjo o yasuku shita.”
“Yeah, they did cheap out on the bathroom, didn’t they?” Haruo grinned.
“Hakujin ga utteta no ka?”
Haruo nodded.
“Sore kurai keisan shita.” Such was the dichotomy of his father. As much as he loved River and Haruo being the best of friends and he was friends with River's mother, he really wasn’t too keen on others of their race. He’d seen too much; been the recipient of too much hate to trust them.
Saturday Morning
Haruo was roused from his sleep at five in the morning by an irritable Mayumi.
“Are you aware that as a young adult, you can now pay us five hundred a month in rent right now or you can leave this house.” So how long had Mayumi stewed over that financial haymaker she wanted to level at her son? Not long enough, perhaps.
“Really?” Haruo’s eyes narrowed: this was going to be fun, “Well, that’s a good thing, isn’t it?”
He remarked. “Just give me a brief second. I need to write something down.”
“What’s that?” Mayumi was startled as the wind was taken out of her sails as Haruo scrawled something down on a piece of looseleaf sheet paper.
“It’s a notice to end tenancy! Give me six hours to pack and I will vacate this house.”
"What!?” Mayumi looked blindsided. She'd thought that she could have a readily available §500.00 a month. He was cowed enough that he would give it up readily if he wanted a roof over his head so she thought. Unfortunately she hadn't thought through the alternatives if he wasn't under her thumb as much as she'd thought.
“Oh, I didn’t tell you? I made sure to tell the bank that my savings went to purchase a lot upon which I built a small trailer. I’m sure you’re happy that I won’t be homeless…” like you hoped I would be…turns out I was two steps ahead of you….bitch. “Now if you don’t mind, I’d like some peace and quiet while I get my things together so I can move.” Haruo smiled at her. He knew just how much this was making her stew inside and he twisted the knife in a little more. “Would you prefer I left this bed-frame or would you like me to take it with me? After all it is getting rather worn and might be dangerous for the next tenant.”
“YASUBO!!!!” Mayumi shrieked.
“Nande shakenderu?”
When he was told the reason, why Haruo was moving out. Yasunobu nodded. He knew how unhappy his son had been over the years and he was gratified to know that Haruo wasn’t leaving because of him. His son assured Yasunobu that he would always have a place for him on the property in Richmond, but did not want his mother to know where he was living. He had to get away from her...at any cost. Yasunobu’s own relationship with Mayumi had been rather strained because of the antagonism that she’d borne their own son and Yasunobu felt that to his very core. He knew that his own blood child was unhappy and wanted out but he didn’t want to lose touch with him and that was what he feared most.
Haruo was looking at making a clean break from the family and going to live his own life. Would he be able to make a life for himself? Haruo tended to be a bit asocial. He never really longed for social interaction but most of society tended to shun those who behaved in that manner so in order to conceal his true motivations, he tried to behave like everyone else, looking for a relationship.
It would take someone very special and very understanding to bring him out of the shell that he cocooned himself in. Was River that kind of person; was Bebe, for that matter. Haruo didn’t know and for right now,,all he wanted to do was get the hell out of Mayumi’s house.
Meanwhile Mayumi was in hysterics trying to order Yasunobu to do something till finally Yasunobu got so pissed off, he thundered. “Damare, kuso-babaa!!!” He was angry that his son felt so abused that he was being forced out of the house. He reached into his pockets and gave Haruo one thousand simoleons over Mayumi’s protests that the louse should starve for defying her edicts. He gave her a look to say keep going at your own risk and you’ll be out on the street, wife! Yasunobu was more than livid.
Haruo took his leave of the house not less than three hours later. He’d thrown everything into boxes and rented a truck to get him to Richmond. And it was at the point where he was loading up the box-spring into his van with the help of Yasunobu that River and Fiona came out to see just what commotion was going on as Mayumi’s screeching had reached a crescendo and could probably have been heard all the way clear across town.
River forgot all about her anger towards Haruo and Bebe and asked, “What’s going on?”
“I’m done…” Haruo replied not without some heat since he’d wanted to get the hell out quickly and quietly and this was anything but. “I’ve had it with this place and I’m moving out.”
“HE CAN’T DO THAT!!!” Mayumi screeched.
“The hell I can’t!” Haruo snapped at his mother.
“You can’t…” River begged him embracing him out of sheer desperation. She needed him to stay. If he left...then what would happen to their friendship? Out of all possible scenarios she had pictured in her head upon confronting both Haruo and Bebe about last afternoon, she hadn’t expected this scenario. And she hadn’t even confronted Haruo about Bebe yet. Haruo shook his head. No, nothing was going to convince him not to move out. River didn’t know where he was going and she wasn’t about to ask him where he was going in front of his mother since it appeared Haruo didn’t want to disclose where he was moving to in front of his mother. “Why?” was all she asked.
“That bitch…” he snapped thumbing towards his mother. “I’ve had it with her unreasonable dictates. I’ve had it with her lies and conniving and her I’m better than everyone else attitude. I’m tired of her dumping all over me every time she gets a burr up her ass about something. She’s pissed me off for the very last time and I’m sick and tired of seeing her face.”
Mayumi went sheet white and shaking. “How…HOW DARE YOU!!! You ungrateful brute! I was in labour with you for sixteen hours!!!!” The last scream could be likened to a banshee’s wail.
Fiona barely stopped herself from letting off a cackle of laughter from seeing Yasunobu nearly roll his eyes into the back of his head. The poor man. How he’d managed to put up with that screaming harpy for eighteen plus years. And you made his life hell for eighteen years because of it. Mayumi, you more than were paid back for whatever you went through if anyone should even be paid back for going through labour pain.
“I want an apology!” Mayumi screeched.
Haruo firmly set his jaw in a stubborn scowl. “Well enjoy waiting…” he pointed in his mother’s face, “ because hell will fucking freeze over before you get one!”
Fiona was silently cheering for Haruo. She’d known just how abusive Mayumi had been to Haruo and she being a tenant of Mayumi’s was powerless to help him.
“Anybody that agrees with him…” Mayumi pointed to Haruo “…can jolly well leave my house!” She stuck her jaw out like a little fat Napoleon.
Fiona chortled as she gave Mayumi a withering look, “Very well. Mayumi, Haruo, do you have some extra space in that trailer of yours?”
Haruo looked shocked - he’d expected a clean quiet split from the house and never having to look back. How did River’s Mom know just what kind of building I had on my property? “I’m sure we’ll get some money back with the BC Rentalsman when he hears how we were illegally evicted. Yasunobu? Are you coming?” Fiona sounded downright amused.
“Maybe…” Yasunobu replied in halting English then spoke a flurry of heated words in Japanese towards his wife who turned even whiter than she was. “I pay house, I pay mortgage, I no pay, she can no live here. House get sold so I have to stay.” He explained in broken English. So Yasunobu had leverage that he was now willing to use against Mayumi to insure she stayed in line.
“I’m overloaded.” Haruo stated. “ I can’t take anymore this trip but if you’re seriously intent on moving out, Mrs McIrish, I can come back and move you out too.”
“That would be fine. I’m considering this threat of eviction as a tendered eviction notice and treating it as such. And the Rentalsman’s office will be hearing about this as well. Yasunobu, you shouldn’t have to pay this, I wouldn’t. It’s Mayumi’s doing.”
“But my finances are tied up in Kits.” Mayumi protested. She had a house in Kitsilano that she was renovating with Yasunobu’s financial help (essentially extorted out of him) that was going strictly to her and to her brothers.
“Tough luck.” Haruo said. “Maybe you should have thought before opening your mouth. I wholeheartedly support Mrs. McIrish getting her due.” It would be nice to see his mother being taken down a peg or two. And it gave him fire to see his way through to making a success out of himself. All the times Mayumi had trampled on his self-esteem, she was now getting back in spades. And lo, if it were so satisfying.
“Look, I’ll come with you and help you.” River said. “You’re going to give yourself a hernia taking that box-spring and mattress Haruo had a queen size mattress and box-spring loaded up on the van of his.
Haruo reluctantly agreed. He hadn’t reckoned on the McIrishes moving in with him, least of all them initiating the idea of it. He’d kept the passenger side clear since he was considering stopping at a grocery store to buy food for the next week since his father had given him a thousand. He was glad however that he’d chosen to keep the truck for a few days before having to return it to the rental agency.
River looked at her Mom to see if it was OK. Her mom nodded, “Go with him and help him…”. River and Haruo got in the truck.
Haruo raised an eyebrow as he started the engine, waving to his dad who nodded. This was going to be a long trip over to Richmond.
“I wasn’t expecting for your Mom and you to get kicked out like that.” Haruo commented, “though I wasn’t surprised, considering my mother and her BS.”
River would have been terrified at the thought of homelessness but the matter-of-fact calmness her mother displayed in the face of eviction had eased her nerves somewhat and the ready acceptance of sharing what was his home with them was softening the gossip from that Lisa Bunch. He wouldn’t try to betray her.
“Lisa said she saw you in the park with Bebe.” She tried to inject a neutral tone of voice because Haruo still sounded nettled.
“Really?” Haruo’s tone was harsh. “And what the hell shit was she trying to stir up this time?”
“She was saying that you and Bebe were…” she held her thumb and forefinger of her left hand a minute distance apart, “…this close to kissing…”
“For fuck sakes….Jesus Christ n’ Mary.” Haruo growled as he came to a stop at a red light. “That nosy…y'know Lisa won’t stop trying to stick her head into things that don't concern her even if they come back to bite her in the ass.”
“Well…did you kiss Bebe?” She tried not to sound betrayed; it wasn’t like they were dating.
“Nearly did before we came to our senses.” Haruo snapped. “I’d just come from Grandma’s and I wasn’t feeling good mentally. She said some things, I said some things, we nearly had a moment and there ya have it….”
The light had turned and Haruo applied the gas. The Alex Fraser was quite busy as things go and He knew it would take about 35-40 minutes in order to get all the way into Richmond to the property he was seeking to occupy. Luckily the sale went through earlier in the week and the delivery trucks had brought in the double-wide so that he could start working on the inside and he’d managed to get the walls up. They were small 5x5 rooms and there wasn’t much for space but he had been able to get some stuff to put in to ease problems. Though he’d been expecting to live in this place by himself, until he’d had his friends from school move in, like Phil and Noel, perhaps.
River looked at Haruo, he’d admitted to nearly kissing Bebe, so why wasn’t she royally pissed off?
“Bebe wasn’t prepared to let it go any further. She said a few things that made me pause and come back to my senses.”
“And what might those be?” She tried not to use a dry, snarky tone…but failed miserably. She saw Haruo use the signal and shoulder check while simultaneously keeping an eye on the car’s distance in front of him.
Once he’d executed a safe lane change he growled, “Because a certain someone who never told me anything decided to talk about me to her as if we were an item.” River recoiled at his dripping sarcasm. “If I’m a part of a couple, don’t you think it’s right that I should be informed of this development?”
Going along Number 3 Rd, he turned onto a property with a dark stone rubble driveway and a large grey/blue double-wide mobile home.
“You’ll have to forgive me, this place is spartan:”. Haruo was matter-of-fact. He made no excuses regarding the fact that he had nearly kissed Bebe Hart and he made no apologies for it either. It wasn’t as if River owned him; in fact, he and River weren’t dating at this moment so technically he was unattached. Bebe and Haruo had nearly locked lips, and that was that. That was the be all and end all of that encounter.
To River the most important parts was that Haruo was honest about it and that he didn’t try to hide it. And she deserved that ball thrown back in her court about her talking to Bebe about him.
“There’s two bathrooms and I may put an outhouse for when it's too far to make a run for the washrooms in the trailer", Haruo informed her, ”
“Guess we should start by taking the bed in…” River said feeling somewhat mollified and chastised at the same time.
“Grab it by the end, squat with your knees and hips then straighten up. Don’t try to bend over or you’ll throw your back out. Heading to Richmond General will put a nasty crimp in the timetable.” His dry tone indicated just how irritated he was at the moment.
“OK.”
Moving the bed in was a royal pain-in-the-ass. Having one’s face mushed against the frame of a box-spring while trying to wrestle it in one way and then the other was near joyful - the complete opposite actually. The mattress was even more of a swear inducing exercise in calisthenics and weight-lifting. “Jesus Christ!!!” Haruo let out a few more blue words as he accidentally mashed the back of his hand against the doorframe.
“Did you hurt anything?” River asked setting down her side of the mattress when it was in the door. The mattress was on one end. And they still had to get it in the door to his bedroom. The box spring was going to be a monster to get in. They would have to guide it in; inch by careful inch. The mattress could be bent a little but the box spring had little to no give and one could either pinch their fingers or tenderize their whole hand if mashed against the door frame while trying to maneuver it to just where you wanted it. But finally they managed to get the box-spring where he wanted it. And frankly it just made a nice thwack sound as it hit the floor and a dull thud as the mattress hit it not more than twenty seconds later. A quick adjustment and it was ready for sheets.
River looked over at Haruo. He seemed so much older yet he was only older by 9 months. Yet she still had a year to go in school, a half year if she applied herself to her academics and got through everything with flying colors. So, what waited for her at the very end? A nice rolled up diploma stating that she’d stayed the course in the BC education curriculum. Then another four year stint in higher education where she would be expected to don graduation robes yet again then attend a fancy degree conferring known as a convocation. If truth be told, Haruo looked rather stressed and irritable; not surprising after this morning.
As they started bringing boxes in, River asked, “so…you’re practically a young adult.” She smirked; in her mind, she had forgiven him about Bebe. “So any plans on what you intend to do with yourself?
“No idea….Grandma did tell me that she would like me to try to go to university if I could. And part of me wants to since Grandpa sacrificed for me n’ my….mother.” He spat the last word out as if it was something distasteful.
“But I’m all school’d out. I just kinda wanna relax and do my own thing for a year. Maybe take two years off to really get an idea of what I wanna do.”
“Yeah,” River responded.
Idly brushing away some lint that had fallen onto his pant-leg, Haruo commented, “Might meet someone you like good enough to go to university with him or maybe you might meet someone at UBC that you fit with.”
“Yeah, maybe….” River sounded subdued. Does he only think of me as a little sister type of friend? “What if I already think I’ve found the guy I want to be with?” She asked.
Haruo raised an eyebrow. “Oh?” He looked at her…”Well, then, I guess congratulations are in order.”
OMG, you dolt! She thought to herself with a huff of aggravation. She shook her head. “You don’t get it, do you?”
“What?” Haruo just sounded irritated as hell. “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”
“It means, I don’t want anyone else…”.
Haruo looked completely bewildered. First she said she had someone else that she was interested in and then she said that he didn’t understand what she meant. He thought that it had been clear enough to him. And then the I don’t want anyone else. That just confused the ever-loving daylights out of him. He raised an eyebrow in question.
“But…I thought…you had someone…and…well…in that case…you shouldn’t want anyone else….right!”
River almost let out a scream of frustration…she wasn’t sure how to gauge his reaction. Was he inexplicably dense or was he just toying with her and did she really want to consider a serious relationship with someone with the cognition abilities of a piece of granite? Aggravation wasn’t the word for this. Did she have to do this the caveman way to make him understand just exactly what she meant.
Haruo continued to stand there puzzled at why River looked like she was going to take a baseball bat and brain him. And that was frankly annoying to say the least. Do women know how to just come out and say what the hell they mean instead of playing word games and driving him completely out of his ever-lovin’ mind? Because he was just about to scatter his marbles all over the floor in another minute if something didn’t start making sense soon. After that to-do with his mother, he was plumb out of patience.
“How long have we been friends? Haruo?” River glared at him.
“Since we were four and a half, though it seems longer…”. Haruo noted; his shoulders were tense and it appeared that he wasn’t in the mood to be conciliatory.
“And in that amount of time you never in the least felt anything for me?” She looked at him directly.
There was the minefield. Mayumi had beaten down his self-esteem to the point where he didn’t feel he deserved anyone, that anyone who would even think about being with him was settling for a broken fragment shell of a man who was just doing his best to get through life the best he knew how, with the least amount of psychological pain. Better to go through life alone than to have to figure out a way to tell River that he was irretrievably broken. He had anger issues and he figured that he was dangerous if provoked. Better that she find someone else than for him to risk being uncontrollably angry one of these days and do something he regretted. In fact after a few nights of thinking about it, he was glad that Bebe hadn't pressed him to be her boyfriend either. He was too broken for either of them. He didn't deserve either of them.
“I’m not good for you!” He snapped frustrated at his wit’s end. He did not feel up to playing word games, he was irritated from all the mind games and abuse that he’d endured since childhood from someone who was supposed to care about him. He was pissed off because his mother decided that she was going to demand money out of him that he had no intention of giving her and that he had made plans to not stay in his parents' house a second longer than was necessary. And now River was wanting him to commit when he had no idea of who he was or what he wanted to be, and wanting an answer right now; he was angry and frustrated,
“You wanna date a powder keg? What kept me from punching a hole in the wall in my mother’s house was the fact that I had nowhere to go if I didn’t save up whatever money I could scrounge up from selling fruits and vegetables at the corner store. That was my hope; to get away and be able to be by myself; not have to answer to anyone.” The pent-up anger was roiling looking for an outlet.
“And you think you’ll be able to overcome this by yourself?!” River’s jaw set in a stubborn frown. “I see you’ve been doing a great job so far!” The sarcasm in her voice was cutting.
“What I want is for people to leave me the fucking hell alone!” Haruo exploded.
“And pushing people who love you away is the way to go about doing that. Inflict pain so you don’t have to feel a fucking thing?!” River yelled at him the hurt rising up again from hearing about Haruo nearly kissing Bebe.
“Is that what you fucking want?!”
“I don’t know what I want!” Haruo snarled viciously.
“All I know is that I want some peace and quiet!” Sure it was the complete opposite of how he’d approached Bebe. But to tell the truth, he had no idea about what he wanted, other than the fact that he was getting a splitting headache (which he didn't want). They’d managed to get all the boxes in already. “I should get you back to your Mom.”
“Sure, run away from all your problems. That’s not going to get you very far.” River’s tone was bitter. “And pushing away those who cared for you isn’t a way to go through life!”
Haruo didn’t say a thing other than tell her to get in the truck and locked the door to the mobile home. Their drive back to the house was in tense silence. He hoped that he’d given River enough pause to rethink her thoughts about dating him. He was a broken man, and didn’t need to be tied down to a relationship that sooner or later was going to result in her rethinking the whole thing, better to nip that flower in the bud before it could even open its petals. When he dropped her off, he said,
“I’ll give you and your mother a place to get your legs under you, but that’s all I’m promising.”
“How generous of you…” River said, her tone bitter and angry, her arms crossed at mid-waist tightly to keep from falling apart. “I’ll see what I can do to help her and we’ll be out of your hair as soon as we can.”
She saw him turn the engine on and put his van into drive. She watched the van drive out the driveway and onto the street. It turned the corner and out of sight...
before her vision blurred and she swiped angry tears from her eyes.
Fiona hurried over to her daughter, “What’s the matter?”
“He doesn’t love me…” River wept as she buried her face in her mother’s shirt, holding on tightly to her mother, wracking sobs shaking her frame.
“I’m sorry, honey….what happened?”
River couldn’t speak since she was too distraught so Fiona just held her daughter.
Richmond
Haruo walked back into his own place without looking back. He was on his own and it happened to be just the way he liked it, nobody to answer to, no-one to nag him to death and above all, it was a place for him to be able to actually find some peace for the first time in his life. Grabbing the groceries he’d picked up on the way back home, he locked the door of the van, then carted the groceries to his humble abode. When he got the groceries into his fridge he was satisfied. He’d grabbed a burger from the local burger joint and had eaten so the groceries were more from the point of being able to cook something in the next few days.
Did he regret saying what he did to River? No. Because she would see in the years to come that it was the right choice for him. Why should he inflict the hurt and sorrow to her or others of connecting with someone who didn’t deserve the love that was offered. I’m not the right person for her, he kept rationalizing to himself. Getting into a relationship with me is the last thing she should even consider...if at all.
And maybe one of these days, he’d believe it deep down where he could shut off those negative emotions and feedback like a tap. He wished he could shut off the emotions of wanting someone to accept him for who he was and not try to make him over into something he wasn’t. Because ultimately, it wasn’t meant to be and maybe people should give up on him before they got sucked into the abyss. He felt like he should go through life alone. And if life chose to cancel him short of his due date, then so be it.
Haruo ate, then took a shower and went to bed; a rest that would prove less than fruitful because of dreams from the past and how he'd been psychologically tortured by Mayumi.
Flashback
Sleep did not come quickly for Haruo considering the fact that he was harassed by dreams that took him back to his toddler days as a three year old with Mayumi perpetrating her cruelty on him by sticking him in a crib and letting him yell his head off because she would ignore him for hours, only after being sufficiently neglected, he would be fed and his mother would make it seem like the most onerous task in her life to have to take care of him. She had her teaching career and far be it for this worthless worm to keep her from achieving what she wanted in life.
The scene abruptly switched to his childhood, when River had stepped into his life for the first time. They had just come home from the park after playing for a bit after school. Since he was tired of doing homework at home, he’d worked on the homework during the course of the day trying to predict what the teacher was going to assign them and working on the problems during recess and lunch break just so that he could get some time to enjoy after school.
His body tossed and turned in sleep as he relived that afternoon.
By the time they got home to their house, they were sweaty and tired. But River had homework that she had to do so she set about doing it.
There was nothing more boring than multiplication and addition tables, but well, that was how one learned back in 1977. Mimeographed sheets with blue ink that could potentially smear if it wasn't fully dry. And one could smell the ink used. It was a pungent odour that permeated the nostrils and that was the scent that told you that you have homework. But River being a diligent student sat at the table and no matter how boring it was, she put her effort into learning her addition, subtraction, multiplication and division tables. And the worksheet gradually filled up with carbon scoring as her pencil made lines and squiggles denoting numbers filling up the answers to the equations asked. And afterwards she was able to take some time to learn BASIC on the computer
Haruo, on the other hand, having done his homework already lay on the bench and slept after a hard day of school and then playing soccer at the park.
...and that was where Mayumi found him stretched out on the bench in the backyard asleep. "Just what do you think you're doing?!" Mayumi screeched. "Don't you have ay homework to do? Why are you being lazy and not doing your homework like…"
"I DID MY HOMEWORK!" Haruo snapped back.
"Don't you talk back like that at me...young man! I'm sure you're just lying to me. If your teacher didn't give you homework, I'll give you twenty sheets of equations that you can do."
"...and you'll get that every night for a week until you learn to not talk back to your betters." Mayumi looked smug as she looked at him with her beady eyes. "No son of mine is going to lie to me." Haruo looked frustrated and angry as he had done his homework and the fact that he was being called a liar even when he was telling the truth made him angry beyond belief. "You can start your twenty pages of equations tomorrow but for now, you can sit on that chair on the porch and think about what you said and about your lying to me."
Haruo could only fume impotently as he stalked off to sit down in the chair and wish that his mother could disappear. When River got finished her homework, he defiantly got up out of his seat and walked over to the bench to sit with River. River could tell something was wrong with Haruo. "Your mom?" was all she asked.
"She thinks I've lied about doing my homework...and now I get to do twenty sheets of questions for a week...because she says that I talked back to her." Haruo aired his grievances about his mother to River who nodded patiently. River thought to herself that she was really starting to not like Haruo's mother.
"River, I don't know how I'm going to put up with this for another twelve years..." Haruo frustratedly waved his hands and looked up to the sky. "It's like she hates me or something. It's not the twenty pages of questions...I have to do...but she's doing this so that I can't spend time with you." he looked over at her, anger on his face. "And she knows that I like to go to the park with you and everything. So she's trying to stop me from doing that. It's so unfair..." he said. "I don't think she even likes me."
River nodded as she stared at the grass and contemplated Haruo's words. "I know you did your homework at school because I saw you in the school library before we headed to the park, but the unfair part of it is that even if I tell her she won't believe me." And that simple fact made River hate Mayumi too. She was always picking on her son, if not heckling him; out right denigrating him for even breathing the same air as she had to stand in.
Trying to deal with this kind of harassment from his own mother would set anyone at the end of their rope and Haruo looked frustrated to the point where he was about to curl up in a ball and cry out of frustration. As a child of seven, he shouldn't have had to deal with this kind of behavior, especially out of his own mother. Mayumi wasn't fair and she had a chip on her shoulder and a focus for her negative behavior and River was sick of it. Even if she couldn't place a word on how she felt about Haruo as a friend, she was protective of him and only wanted him to be happy. It was a pity that his own mother couldn't feel the same way.
"I don't know what to do..." Haruo said...sounding half as if he was about ready to break-down and half like he was about to go nuclear. And River understood completely.
“I'm your friend, Haruo...When you feel like this...talk to me." River said. "That way you don't get so ticked off." She said, "I can't do anything about the extra homework, but I can be someone you can talk to.
We can sit here together and dream about what it would be like to travel the world and see different things. If we were able to do that. Where would you want to go?"
"...anywhere..." Haruo said, a hint of vehemence evident in his tone. "Anywhere away from here and away from my mother." River figured as much and Mayumi wasn't going to like the fact that she would be losing her meal-ticket. She sort of got the impression that Mayumi was just grooming Haruo in order to leech from him. She could see the distinct difference between how her mother treated her and Haruo's mother treated him. The difference was like night and day. Her mother treated her like the most precious thing in the world and Haruo's mother treated him like the dirt under her shoes.
But to get her friend's mind off that she said dreamily, "I'd want to go visit France and the Eiffel Tower." she paused, "That would be like a dream vacation, y'know. Being able to see everything that France has to offer."
Haruo nodded, even though he was more of a homebody, he thought about going sightseeing around the world. However he was more cautious about things. The only people he trusted in his life were his father, River and Fiona who behaved more like a mother should to him as well as to her own daughter.
There were other instances of abuse. Pyschological mind-twisting, telling him that he wasn’t intelligent, constantly comparing him to others to split him in his mind from others. Isolating in order to keep him from having any sort of supports.
"I don’t care if she lives here, you stay away from that McIrish girl. She’s not a good influence." Haruo’s sense of justice versus his mother’s treatment of him and her denigration of all his friends warred with his mental stability and his sense of self got diminished to the point where he just became a unwitting pawn of whatever his mother wanted. But River didn’t want to stay away from him and made it a point to make sure that she was always there at lunch and at recess and as they grew into their high-school years, their study blocks. Even if they were unable to hang out the way they used to back when they were little kids, before Mayumi decided that she was going to do whatever she could to make Haruo’s life a living hell. And Haruo made it a point of sneaking away from the house sometimes on the weekends, while River would casually ask her mother if she could step out of the house and head over to the park or to the playground for a while. Fiona nodded knowingly as she knew that was where Haruo was going to be.
Snapping back to the present day, Haruo came awake as he heard the alarm go off, uttering a pungent oath that could curdle milk. He did not like mornings at all, especially not after the last day he had. Taking a deep breath he gathered himself up from out of his blankets and yawned deeply as he realized that the time was almost five in the morning. If he was going to make his new property work for him, he would end up having to get up early and work hard to make his property viable. The property was large enough that if he picked the right crops to plant, he could make a decent amount of a living from the sale of the crops. I need a shower. Haruo thought to himself as he pulled his legs towards him, shifted to get up and placed both feet on the floor. It was an annoyance, what he’d gone through yesterday and he was still annoyed to a certain extent. But as his father had promised him, the double-wide was his refuge that he had sole occupancy of. After all, Haruo had purchased it with his own money and he didn’t want other people living in there at all really.
Then getting dressed he made his way to the kitchen where he made his morning breakfast of orange pancakes. It was one of the morning staples that invigorated him; the aroma of oranges and a little dash of orange zest permeating his little space of a double-wide. His first true home that he could call his own.
He took a long moment to gaze at his nearly empty living room. He was going to have a major problem when it came down to buying furniture. Or he could just scrounge it from the local dumpsters. Others were in a habit of throwing out perfectly good furniture when it no longer fit their aesthetic – so why not take advantage of the situation and snag some pieces at a good price. And it couldn’t get any better than free.
The Previous Evening
Yasunobu’s House; Downstairs Suite
“Maybe moving in with him isn’t the best idea.”
River sniffled and said sarcastically, “Understatement of the year! Mom.”
There was a knock at the door,
“Yasunobu…?” Fiona said.
“I hear my son not want you in his place…”
“Well, understandably, I sprung it on him suddenly without any consultation and well. I can see why he wouldn’t be too happy about it.”
“If, OK, you stay here.”
“Won’t that annoy your wife?”
Yasunobu grinned, “No concern. I control. She no can say anything more. My money my house; she make trouble, you tell me...I kick her out.” he gestured to take in his surroundings, “My decision. I call Haruo and tell him you stay here.”
Fiona was relieved. Mayumi was unable to kick them out since Yasunobu was thoroughly in charge of what went on in this house. And she didn’t have to administer an uncomfortable truce between her daughter and Yasunobu’s son. “Thank you, Yasunobu. That’s so kind of you.”
“OK, you no need pack, you stay here and I keep wife quiet.” He grinned.
River was looking quite relieved at the thought of not having to be around Haruo after the hard rejection of her admission. She wasn’t sure how to feel other than hurt and angry; not just at the rejection but the assumption that she would think that because of what he went through with his mother that he’d receive more of the same from her.
Just where does Haruo get off thinking that I’m going to be a bitch to him just like his mother did to him? I wouldn’t but the fact that he thinks that way…he’s been hurt terribly with no place to turn because his mother didn’t lay a finger on him - the cops wouldn’t do a fucking thing because well they wouldn’t believe that words didn’t cut to the bone; that psychological damage was just a virulent and probably more insidious if you had no proof of being battered. It’s all in your head; just get over it and man up.
River felt again like she was about to burst into tears, not for herself but for the man she still loved regardless of his rejection of her. He didn’t have anyone to turn to so he was going to cocoon himself in a blanket of solitude in order to evade the hurt and pain that he was going to have to face in order to deal with the years of mental abuse that had come down the turnpike from that bitch of a mother of his. He was going to have to deal with years of complex post-traumatic stress disorder with a counselor from years of dealing with Mayumi’s bullshit.
And the hard question in her mind was could she crack open that cocoon that he’d erected to protect himself.
The part of her heart that had been sorely wounded by his callous behavior told her to run away as fast as she could. Avoid ever having to deal with him ever again.
But the part of her who had spent so many years with him as a friend, said, you can’t leave him like this if you’ve ever considered him your friend because you’ll prove right everything he believes is true if you do. He believes that he’s not worth anything to anyone; and I have to prove to him that he is worth something to me.
She said to herself, I’ll give him a few days to get used to the fact that he’s on his own then I’ll go see what he’s doing. I’m not giving up on him. She resolved to herself as she looked out the window at the darkness.
But was she going to be able to withstand the veritable windstorm she was going to end up unleashing? All the years of pent-up frustration and anger held inside of him in a tight grip so that he would never let it get out of control. He needed to release all that to heal, River understood, but would she be able to withstand that fury if it was directed at her? He needed to gain closure, to heal from the multiple dripping emotional wounds that still covered him. To do that, he would have to face pain like he’d never felt before: the realization that his mother never loved him nor had she wanted the responsibility of raising a child to adulthood along with its accompanying bumps in the road of child-rearing.
River contemplated how Haruo would feel throughout the process. Uncovering the raw wound that ate at him. The simple fact was that Mayumi quite possibly used Haruo as a means to an end; to gain acceptance from her father; Haruo’s Grandpa who had been a hard man to please. After all, this was pre-WWI and WWII and post-WWII was coming to grips that they had to rebuild their future so there was no time for the Miyagawas to even contemplate having a moment to rest and think. The children were expected to perform in their academics at a high calibre or run the risk of not being able to cement a stable future. And that extended to the grandchildren too. And Haruo’s mother, Mayumi spent most of her time dumping all over her son; probably as a result of being dumped all over by Grandpa Miyagawa. That still didn’t excuse Mayumi for all the pain that she had inflicted on her son, River pondered. Her abuse was the main reason why Haruo reacted the way he did to any sort of stressful situation. He ended up cocooning himself to keep from being emotionally hurt again. That way, he could get through the everyday things that one needed to do to make a living. But it was avoidance of those painful memories that was preventing him from healing, that made his life so raw whenever stressful things were brought up.
But if he wouldn’t go to therapy...this was going to be the crux where she would have to decide if she had to leave him. He needed help; his anger was a cry for help and River was going to insist that he get therapy to deal with the things his mother had done to him.
A tear spilled out from her filling eyes, otherwise...we don’t have a future together.
Sunday Morning
Haruo’s DoubleWide
Haruo sighed deeply as he looked over at the large number of insect terrrariums that he had stacked in the corner of the living room. A lot of fireflies, butterflies and other insects that he had managed to come across in his rummaging through the dumpsters. He rolled his eyes. Hopefully none of the things would get loose, especially the termite or he would have major problems.
He had been relieved last night when his dad had called him to tell him that he was going to clamp down on Mayumi and that he wasn’t amenable to Mayumi throwing Fiona and her daughter to the streets. As long as he had control of the house, he was going to make sure that Mayumi toed the line. This meant Haruo could live in his trailer without having to worry about anyone else. Sitting down at the kitchen table to eat his apple pancakes in peace and quiet, he thanked whatever deity that passed along that good fortune. He would enjoy his peace and quiet and maybe eke out a living in gardening, fishing and cooking. Nobody to pester him, nobody to make demands out of him that he was not prepared to meet and this way he was able to ease his wounded soul even if he wasn’t healed.
First of all, after breakfast, he headed out to the mailbox. He had figured that bills were going to show up on either Monday or Tuesday and that he figured he needed to make sure that was paid before the taxman sent the repo-man and the repo-dude decided that it wasn’t necessary for Haruo to urinate or defecate and repossessed the toilet. Let’s just say that would not be good for him or his internal digestive and waste system. It was Sunday anyways so he just enjoyed his little walk out to the mailbox. Tomorrow he’d start searching for the bills today, he would have to drop by the grocery store and pick up some apples. He also decided that he would do some hunting for some wild game as well as wild plants. He had four apples left and he would be good for another few days so he would leave one of the four apples in the fridge and plant the other three. Those three trees would give him a decent bumper crop of apples to make more apple pancakes with. He had enough money to get a few more crop plants that could be used to make money. This way he could get plenty of crops to sell to the grocery stores and make a tidy sum of money with which to support himself.
And perhaps, he should get into martial arts as well. It was reputed that once you got high enough in ability, you could break apart space rocks and uncover the gemstones within. Maybe he should stop by Mai Liang’s martial arts shop in Chinatown and pick up a muk yan jong and a breaker board. And maybe get Sifu Hu Dun Ly’s martial arts teach-yourself Sim Fu for Beginners course. Break your way to Financial Riches? Well Haruo could certainly live with that plan. After all, all he had to do was get one tiberium. Evidently the going rate for that radioactive gemstone was at least §38,000-43,000 simoleons. And that would get him to the point where he could seriously think about making this house a real house instead of just a double-wide mobile home. Since he’d already borrowed money from his dad and bought a gem-cutter and a Lord Vladimir’s Conjuring Cauldron – Frankly that could conjure a lot of things including gemstones. Trying to conjure gemstones involved a lot of invoking and big headaches, especially when he’d conjured too much and hit the floor.. He did actually conjure a soulpeace from that cauldron which put him over §101,000 simoleons putting him in a financially secure category and he’d conjured several other gemstones as well as cutting the ones that he’d managed to find while dumpster diving. Other avenues he could choose would be to turn around and get a science station. That way he could clone samples and be able to keep himself in high value gemstones.
That was it. He had to become a gemstone broker that catered to the wealthy. The wealthy would buy the high value cuts off him that made the most amount of money. He knew that the diamond brokers were very vicious about anyone new horning in on their line of business. The diamond brokers were known to consort with Cartel and Mafioso to flout duty and import taxes into the United States and Canada and had no compunctions about spilling a little blood along with their dealings if it made doing business a little smoother. So Haruo would have to become equally ruthless to survive. But he was already hard-bitten and hard-nosed. Could he get the necessary paperwork to conceal-carry in Canada due to dangerous occupation? Perhaps. Or maybe even cross border-lines considering who he would be dealing with. Or maybe he should stick with the lower end gemstones that would get him what would amount to pocket change yet would keep him safe. But Haruo’d had it with his mother who had financially held him down and he was going to make himself financially secure if it meant selling diamonds, soulpeace and tiberium. And if anyone got in his way…Watcher help them, because he would show no mercy.Now that he had a game-plan he would have to execute it. There were two ways to get the kind of money to get an unlocked gem-cutter and that was to either steal one or make enough money to buy a cheap one and start unlocking the cuts himself. The third was just sell cheap cuts that he cut at Aleister’s till he managed to make the 50,000 simoleons needed to buy the expensive gem cutter and thus would be able to cut his gems at home having a finer calibrated blade and polishing feature so that he could get the gemstones looking of highest quality. At least this way he would be able to get started and not have to worry about the front end investment costs.
There was also the matter of having to deal with having to go down to Aleister’s every time he wanted to cut gems but at least consigning them would allow him to get a somewhat decent return on his investment of time and skill.
That was until his dad had just shown up with a smile on his face and another expensive gem-cutter on the back of his truck and an innocent query of could Haruo please help him get this thing off the back of the truck mainly because he wasn’t sure what to do with it and maybe Haruo could find some use for it? It was his dad’s way of telling him that Haruo was loved and that his dad only wanted the best for him.
Haruo grinned to himself. He was going to be a very rich man. His train of thought was promptly derailed by the fact that he did need to get a few more items other than the stuff that he had in his fridge if he wanted to eat well for the next week. With the basic fridge things got raunchy after about three days. So making eight serving meals probably wasn’t the wisest course of action - green fumes and flies didn’t help foster a hygienic environment.What he needed to do was build a financial base and make certain that he was able to build it up so he didn’t have to worry about financial security. The only caveat here was how much of a cushion defined financial security for him? 10,000? 50,000? 100,000? But every bit of that cushion mattered because it would help him to launch into the upper stratosphere of financial net worth.
Haruo sighed as he looked at his watch and realized that daydreaming had cost him about two hours that morning. He had to go plant apple trees. So that he wouldn’t have to keep going to the store to buy his apples. On top of that he was going to have to get a few more fruits to start an orchard. Maybe some peaches or some limes or maybe even an orange tree. Hmmm. If he built a greenhouse he could grow bananas. Well, let’s see what we can do. Haruo thought to himself as he put on a light summer-weight jacket and headed out into what was a Pacific Coast drizzle.As he headed into downtown to drop off the rental vehicle, he noted that he would need to look into getting a vehicle of his own. He didn’t have a big budget for that since he was living on his own. Even one of the small compact cars could set him back almost 10,000 simoleons. Since he was in town, he might as well look at one of the dealerships and see if there was something that he could purchase that was reliable and cost-effective.He would take a taxi back home if he couldn’t find what he was looking for a nice subcompact with enough room for a bag of groceries.
Would he decided to stay here in Vancouver or move to the island. Upon checking his bank balance, he realized his gem sales had essentially put him personally over the §1M range so he was able to buy something decent in terms of a house; maybe it was time to move to the Island. So he had options. Would he decide to stay in Vancouver or put some distance between him and his family (as much as he hated to do that to his father and to his grandmother, perhaps distance and separation was the best thing to do in his life)? But he couldn’t make that decision just yet because he had tiberium growing so the best thing for him to do was to wait until those spires had grown and he could reap the benefits from that before he made a decision on whether he was going to uproot and move lock-stock and barrel out of town. Perhaps the best thing was to find a place on the Island and settle down.
But one of the first things he needed to do was to return this rental and purchase a vehicle of his own, since he now had a decent amount of money with which to do that. When he got to the rental place, he found that they had a decent selection of pre-owned vehicles that they were selling so that they could take that older inventory and turn them into cash so they could restock newer models in their rental inventory. When all was said and done with a handshake, Haruo walked out of the rental place, the brand new owner of a Vorn P328 pickup, like his dad’s except his dad’s was white and Haruo’s was blue.
Guess the next thing I should do is figure out whether I’m going to keep the property or offer a deep discount to my dad so that he can buy it off me so that I can make a clean break of it and find a place somewhere quiet to live. Haruo thought. But that meant calling up his dad and seeing the potential fall-out from his choice. But he needed the mobile home maintained. And if he wasn’t going to set his roots in Vancouver, then he would have to sell the property.
One point four-five wasn’t technically the threshold point for being classified as rich. But it certainly was considered well-off. And if he wanted the financial freedom to move around as need be, then he would have to have a value in the high tens.
What about his long-term friends? Phil and Noel? He looked at their situation with pragmatic eyes. They had graduated school. They were into their adult lives and busy trying to build up their own personal wealth. They had jobs, they would be alright. Haruo knew that the friendships that were so important while they were all in school no longer were primary in their minds as each person negotiated their journey through life. What mattered was family. And the only family Haruo had was his father and his maternal grandmother.
And that was the bittersweet part of growing up. Maintaining childhood friendships were no longer number one in his life. There were some who would come back to you, but on the whole, most wouldn’t and that was just part and parcel of growing and maturing.
And Haruo was prepared to make sacrifices for his own personal peace of mind. Because even at nineteen, he’d realized what was important to his own personal happiness: a quiet life where no-one could bother him. A life where he was alone to contemplate life and his role in the grand scheme of things as an insignificant cog in the realm of capitalism. Yay for fiduciary vision.
Over the next two weeks, Haruo made his preparations quietly, finally selling off his tiberium and seeing a tidy profit as well as some other conjured jewels. His dad and grandmother were not happy about his wanting to leave for Vancouver Island, but they understood his reasons and promised to hold their silence.
One week later
River had made excuses to herself to not go and see him at his new property. And she’d talked herself out of it multiple times. He doesn’t want to see me. I don’t think he’d be amenable to talking it out. I need to get a better argument together before I approach him with a suggestion to get counseling. And it was at Bebe’s urging that she finally got up the gumption to go out and see him out in Richmond. And that was mainly because Bebe threatened to drag her over there.
“He’s not going to go to counseling on his own, you’re gonna have to drag him there.”
As Bebe crested the hill and came to a stop at the manufactured home that was or used to be Haruo's home, all they saw was an empty driveway and a large real estate sign on the property - the sign on the property said SOLD. River’s heart fell into the pit of her stomach. “No…no…no…”. She repeated, her heart shattering into pieces, not noticing her vision misting.
“Oh, no…” was all Bebe could say as she turned to see River in utter agony, tears spilling from her eyes. How could Haruo do this? He hadn’t even bothered to say good-bye.
If River had thought that rejection of her overtures hurt, nothing compared to this. Haruo hadn’t even bothered to tell her he was leaving. He’d never even left a forwarding address. Fourteen years of friendship had meant absolutely nothing to him? So many times where he’d been longing for release from his situation with his mother and when it came down to it, River had wanted to give him that freedom from having to deal with his mother; that they would gain their freedom together, at least that was her hope. They’d made plans together through elementary school and high-school.
The deep hurt within River coalesced flaring into a sheet white cold anger. This was betrayal at its worst.
And betrayal did not warrant forgiveness.
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